howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”

(Source: grossmidousuji, via volcainist)

1 day ago with 92,399 notes | reblog

occultalux:

i-wanna-get-in-englands-pants:

omg i just realized why mario and luigi are red and green

image

how i didn’t see that i’m so stupid

oh

(Source: chepibola, via carryonmy-assbutt)

1 day ago with 89,868 notes | reblog

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

(via carryonmy-assbutt)